A bride just asked me, "... are we supposed to pay to get our guests to our destination wedding, and pay for their lodging? We wanted a Destination Wedding so that we could have a smaller guest list and could spend a bit more for food, and entertainment and such. But if we have to pay for airline tickets and hotel rooms maybe we should just get married at the local country club. My aunt wants us to fly her and her kids in a couple days early and put them up in a resort so they can make a vacation of it, do I have to pay for her whole trip?"

My Dear, has your aunt always been so presumptuous?

When you invite guests to your wedding, you are inviting them to a special occasion celebration; not providing a free vacation for everyone who wants to come. (Can you imagine the effect this would have on your number of RSVPs?)

It is for your guests to determine whether or not they have the time and wherewithall to attend your nuptials, or if they wish to merely send their best wishes (and possibly a gift). The only exception would be if you have a close family member or a special friend you really want to be in attendance (or an attendant) who absolutely cannot afford to attend without your financial assistance. Then it's a nice gesture, IF you can afford it, to offer to pay their way, and/or arrange for lodgings.

Remember, a wedding reception is traditionally given to "allow" guests to attend to extend their best wishes and GIFT goods to the new couple to begin their life together. It is not a forfeit you pay if you want to get married, and certainly not an obligation to family and friends to cover their personal expenses should they wish to attend.

Explain to your aunt (and her eight kids) that if she'd rather save for a family vacation than attend your wedding you will most certainly understand.

Keep calm, and carry on.....