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Saturday, April 13, 2013

A bride recently asked, "How do I make sure no one brings children to my wedding; I don't want my special moments interrupted by children and their noise. But my aunt says if she can't bring her children she is NOT coming!"

My Dear... in a perfect world you would merely NOT include their names (or the phrase "and family" on the invitation. However, in our imperfect society many who breed feel their progeny should be embraced and exalted by the world; and express disbelief that their little darlings should be excluded from ANY gathering.

So in order to insure that YOUR wishes (and it IS all about the bride) and not those of the doting parents are met, you will have to be firm on several fronts.

In addition to excluding such phrases as, "and family" or "and guest" from invitations to anyone with children, you will have to begin a marketing campaign to both family and friends so that NO ONE can possibly act surprised that children are not warmly welcomed to attend.

But you absolutely CANNOT include "no children" on your invitation; or the etiquette police will be at your door immediately! Nor can you include just the children you enjoy; both would be terribly non PC.

Some successful adults only wedding campaigns include statements such as...

"My wedding is planned as a solemn and religious ceremony, followed by a formal evening  of cocktails and dinner with no activities, refreshments, or other accommodations being made for children; I know everyone will understand".

 Or....
"Due to our wedding budget, we have a limited guest list. We'd hate to have to exclude our friends and family with children in order to keep the numbers down."

Or, my personal favorite:
"While children will not be permitted to attend the ceremony or reception activities, childcare at the venue CAN be arranged by contacting: insert professional event sitter's information here." When they contact the sitter, they will be informed of the per child cost for the evening!
And no, you are not responsible for the cost of babysitting uninvited guests.

If you feel you MUST allow children to attend, due to aunts and other relatives like the one mentioned earlier, please try to arrange for some child friendly activities and refreshments that will keep the munchkins happy, and quiet, so your memories of your wedding day are not peppered with junior licking the wedding cake, or sissy wailing during your ceremony.

And if your no children policy on your special day has certain individuals boycotting your nuptials, that's their breech of etiquette, not yours.

Keep calm, and carry on.







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